Life in a nutshell

Hi i've decided to do a post of my life in a nutshell since well.. a long time ago.

When in secondary school, sec 3 in particular, i met my soulmates.
No, not soulmate as in a love partner, but soulmates in terms of friends.
They are and always will be my number 1 friends and one of the first people i will go to whenever i'm in doubt or whenever i have something happy to share. We went through many fun after school times together at compasspoint. They are people whom i never thought i'll become friends with. Especially when i've seen them before when we were in lower secondary and already knew of their existence but they didnt know of mine. Like i was in a different class for all 4 years of my secondary school life with them and only got close to them when we were in secondary 3. Its a strong friendship, very strong, although im like a ''new addition'' to their group. Eventually, we kicked the mutual enemies out and formed a small and simple clique with just the 4 of us.


In secondary 4, i got to become friends with people in my class (finally, because i didnt get along with any of them as i was the only one who went to that class, all my other friends were in the 1st class). Similarly, became close to them and slowly i gained more friends in the class and started becoming friends with people whom i didnt think i could become friends with when i was in lower secondary. Sorry its basically the same thing, but life is really unexpected. Those people that i've become friends with were not as scary as i thought they were at all..... In fact they have also become a part of my life and we always have very good and hearty laughs when we are together. I'll invite you guys to my wedding too,

After O levels, i started grinding a lot of my online games and got to befriend someone from my class that i never spoke more than 10 words too. he has also become part of my life even though we dont really meet up anymore or speak much to each other anymore.... This after O level period of my life is actually my rebellious period. I decided that i didnt want to work and decided that i would slack my 6 months of holiday way (which i did) and befriend people whom were weird... I met a lot of people online and started hanging out with them. That was when i realised the introvert side of me. I didnt speak to many of them, im pretty sure i didnt and have not stood a part in their lives before, but they are in my life. Most of them probably dont remember me anymore, but i still remember them dearly.

When poly started, the introverted side of me had already kicked in damn badly. I thought i wouldnt make any friends at all. But the downside was that i was in a poly which i am required to do groupwork everyday so i had to interact with people (which i still hate till now).

Year 1 sem 1 was kinda the best semester for me. We were all still young and new to this whole PBL thing. I got along very well with many people in my class and was friends with practically everybody, which was really surprising because i didnt like interacting with people at that period of time... When there was arguments between races in the class, i was very neutral about it and didnt want to step a foot into it at all but sometimes i guess things really got a little too much. there's more girls than guys in a class so you can imagine the drama we had then... Still, things ended quite sadly. I think i did a post on this blog on the parting of the class which was quite emotional because many people cried, I believed i cried too when i reached home after a gathering with the class for the last time.

Year 1 sem 2 was the start of the actual diploma itself (we did pretty lame modules in sem 1 which were all a waste of time IMO). the starting of our core modules. this semester was also pretty good for me because I also got along well with most of my classmates and we are still friends now even though we have already drifted  alot and they dont really involve me anymore in their outings.

Year 2 sem 1 was the start of the my nightmare in poly. Like literally. Things started out damn well in the first maybe 8 weeks of the semester. Then things started going downhill from there, because of the introverted side of me (again). The clique was too big to handle anyway and we broke into many sub cliques which consisted of different people. I was in one, but i didnt felt like it. I was the one who was left out, They didnt like me. Maybe they didnt like my attitude. I still stood by them even though i found out the truth. I tried to make things better, but i guess it takes 3 days to break trust and more than 3 months to gain the trust back.

Year 2 sem 2 was one of the most horrifying semesters ever. The semester i hated the most because of the situation i was in before. I did many things that i didnt know i did and broke people up into different classes unintentionally. With them, things was still sour but i was still with them. My friends asked me why i still hung out with them when i knew that they did not like me. My answer to them was that other than them, i already have no one else. Then came the group project. Which i admit was my fault entirely. By then, the friendship between me and them had already become something that couldnt be mended anymore. I started following another group of friends who were also in my class who did not really like them as well. I was happier when i joined them. I tried to make things better by contributing to the presentation day itself as i didnt do a single shit for the report . And again, things dont happen like we want to. A mini dispute happened and both sides (not really both.. just them) were unhappy again. By then i have given up all hope..

Year 3 sem 1 was the semester that we all split up into our internships and lessons. I had to take my internship in the 2nd semester because i failed a module in year 1. Lucky my friends from year 2 sem 2 were also in the same semester as me, so i didnt feel so lonely. In fact, one of them was even in the same class as me. Year 3 sem 1 was less stress because i didnt have to face people i didnt want to face. By this semester, i have already began working part time because my mom and dad got a divorce and i didnt want to burden my mom further, so i thought i could earn my own allowance.

Year 3 sem 2 was a tough semester for me. I had to do my internship, do my failed module and work my part time job at the same time. Well, at least things went well and i pulled through things easily. I had a good mentor for my internship and the internship really opened my eyes up a lot. Halfway through my internship, i fell in love with my colleague who was married but we still got together eventually. It was the baddest thing i've ever done. Destroying a family, even though it wasnt perfect (his wife didnt know about me, no one in his family does). I ended year 2013 well as we got together at the end of it. I didnt expect myself to last so long with him too. Year 2014 started and things were perfect. It felt like i was finally getting a move on in my life.

Graduation. Finally graduated and can crawl out of my hellhole. By graduation, I already started fulltime at the place where i worked part time at. I hope (until now) that i didnt make the wrong decision by not going to study right after graduation because i didnt feel like it. I worked for the next year until i decided to study and work full time at the same time.

Somewhere along Oct 2014, my relationship was starting to crumble because of me. I fell for someone else that I didnt even know well. But my relationship was still going strong. it felt so wrong to like 2 guys at the same time. I didnt left my then-bf know about it because i knew it would upset him the most. then in December, things really started going really bad. We celebrated our 1st year in misery with many arguments.

2015 came, still in love with 2 guys, i decided to end my relationship with my then-bf because i felt that i couldnt do this any longer as it felt like i didnt really love my then-bf anymore. i told him the truth and we broke up. I started school in July 2015 and my crush for J is still going strong... very strong. He knows about it but i guess he just wants to pretend that he doesnt which is perfectly fine for me because i dont want things to become awkward between us also... i cherish the times we spent together even though not all were happy moments and we do have our occasional silly arguments which are really dumb btw.

I wouldnt dare ask for anything else in this world. I have everything i need.