I really want to post about my current life now.



Lately I've met many nice people while working. Im not even talking about my colleagues (yes they are also the nicest people ever even though they tease me too much). But sometimes I feel that I'm unable to catch up with whatever my friends are talking about. I keep asking myself, is it because I'm uninterested in their topic? Or maybe I've drifted too far apart from most of my friends that I dont even know what's going on right now when I'm asleep. This night job is really killing me and my relationship with everybody.


So once again I'd love to highlight that I broke up with my 1 yr 3 months bf (not trying to tell everyone that I'm single now or what but...lol). I was in an affair. I know it sounds crazy and very out of character of me to be in one. I was labelled weird together with everyone else in our mini 4 person clique (we all have something weird going on in our lives then). Many encouraged me to break up with my now ex-boyfriend because of his family. So I thought back to the very beginning. Why did I not see that coming? Did I really not mind him having a family already? Did I want to be with him because of my selfish wants? What good came out from the relationship? Along the way, the love has already faded till the point where nothing could save the relationship anymore. I decided to be the bad guy and asked for the breakup. He loved me very much and I knew that. Because he loved me too much, I did not want to hurt him by letting him feel that I still loved him and still wanted this relationship to work out. Along the way, I have already given up.. If you asked me if I fell for someone else thats why I wanted a break up, the answer would be yes and no. Yes, I wanted it to stop hurting for him because he could tell, but being a Cancer, he didnt mention a word about it to me when I kept talking about the particular guy (abit dramatic I know). No, because I really felt no point in continuing a relationship where there is only one-sided love.

I dont deserve such love anyway.

So now im back to my old ways, crushing on one million guys at the same time.

You know, I really cant be a writer.. My blogpost is all over the place