who do I think I am, really ?

Out with Sis and Benjamin today.
Well, Ben studied while Sis taught him while I sat in a corner being some one who looks like she's interrupting a date or somthing. Lol...
Le sigh.
Wasn't in my best mood the whole time.
Apparently, they have topics that I didnt know of.
So I couldnt say anything.
Lol.. Whatever..

Anyways,
I have a baluku on my fucking butt.
Who the fuck gets one there, and how the fuck did it even get there in the first place ?
Ah, it'll always stay as a mystery

Btw, i'll make it a point to blog everytime i feel emo, so LOL, i should change my link to,
" http://whysoe-mo.blogspot.com "
^ how's that. LOL.

I'll also put a video (from youtube) after every post to let everyone know of my feelings for that day.
Today , of course, would be MBLAQ - Cry.
Well, normally i wouldn't explain why but i'll do it this time because i feel that there's a need to.

I feel like crying

KTHXBYE

I cant be bothered and dont want to care anymore. 

Im really tired of caring for anything or anyone. 

Really..

I really need someone to talk to, a shoulder to lean on. 

And this tiny heart of mine is getting weaker everyday. 

I've been feeling really down for the past few days and I've come to realize that , yes I may be a person who can adapt a change really quickly but when it comes to friends , I can't do the same .

I can never really make new friends without thinking if I'm really good enough for them or not.

I want to be the best friend that everyone had so that one day, even if we lost contact , they'll still remember my name, and everything we've done together.

however, I can't do that with my growing jealousy towards everyone and everything.

everyone of my friends have looks that are better than me by 10000000x and I can't help but feel jealous that they can wear clothes that I want to wear , people will talk to them because of they look acceptable and all.

but me ?

day by day I'm losing my confidence .

day by day I'm losing my friends to other people.

why cant I lead a normal life like everyone ?

I really hate it when it seems like I'm controlling someone I shouldn't be controlling.

I shouldn't even be mad at __ for his actions.

I know it's unintentional but I just can't help myself.

But his behaviour is making me feel like he doesn't know how to cherish friends.

I swear I feel so fuck up right now.

my heart is in a mess, so is my hair because I'm going mad and my hair feels me.

I really wish that one day, my life would just end abruptly. 

I've been blaming everyone for my mistakes lately, even though i have never really said that out to anyone. 

I tried my best to communicate with everybody but its just not working out. 

Maybe i should just keep quiet for life and keep everything to myself so that everyone would be happy bunnies.

MBLAQ - Cry